I’ve just had my first official irrational freak out over wedding stuff, it’s a milestone! This came in the form of the dress. All along I’ve been planning on making my own dress but as the date creeps closer and I’m not actually getting to that, I’ve been quietly talking myself into maybe, perhaps, just considering the possibility that I might find a dress to purchase. And then last night I noticed that Nordstrom is selling a BCBG dress that I’ve seen kicking around a lot of the bridal forums. It’s the one pictured above. It’s sweet isn’t it? Simple but not boring. Different but not inappropriate. Casual but fancy enough for a Vegas wedding. And not shiny, which is an important point for me.

Reading more about it on old forums last night I found lots of people who had been searching for it to wear as their wedding dress but finding it was no longer available. You could almost see the desperation in their eyes as you read their words. They had found the dress but it was too late and the wedding was completely ruined. I can only assume that the dress was popular enough that Nordstrom brought it back. I felt lucky that I had access to this dress that had created such emotion.

I decided to wait until the morning to phone customer service and see if they had it in a nearby store so I could try it on. I was pretty sure the off-white color wouldn’t flatter my skin, or it wouldn’t look good on my decidedly not a size 0 frame. So the plan was: I would try it on and see it wasn’t great and then this burgeoning sense of obsession would be done with. I phoned customer service and she kindly let me know that it wasn’t in any of the stores but it was a really nice dress and she had just gotten a call about the very same dress just yesterday. So, I took a deep breath and went ahead and ordered it in two sizes, it would be a bit of a process just to try it on but Nordstrom was really good about returns and oh my god the estimated delivery date is one week before we leave for Vegas. Queue the freak out.

So, whereas I had been expecting the BCBG dress to not look quite right on me but secretly hoping it would be fabulous and the dress getting process would be done with, I suddenly find myself a potential two dress bride. Now that I cannot try on the BCBG dress anytime soon I really want it. Suddenly it’s the most perfect dress of all time. Suddenly it’s so much better than the dress I had planned to make for myself. Suddenly any other dress would merely be a backup dress. If the BCBG dress ships in time it would make it but it’s too close to count on and suddenly I’m devastated.

Now, I assure you (try to convince myself?) this will pass. I think the only thing I’m upset about is that the Having Of A Dress won’t be resolved as easily as I had been hoping it might. I had spent a few lovely hours imagining being unexpectedly finished with that chunk of work that I have, admittedly, given myself. But this isn’t going to stop me from calling back Nordstrom customer service in the chance that just maybe there is a super special more recent ship date group I can charm my way into. If nothing else I can use the BCBG dress as inspiration, I mean, it’s look better on me in pure white or red or screw it, who am I kidding? I’ll cry if it doesn’t arrive in time to find out.