Just because we planned our wedding to be about as low stress as possible doesn’t mean we have not been feeling it (though, I give huge credit to everybody who plans out such a big affair and is still sane enough to enjoy it by the time it arrives). When we’re feeling stress we sip a little Basil Hayden and have a sword fight. These are foam toy swords I got at Target. A little tipsy fight choreography does wonders.
Another thing we decided on that took a lot of worry away was to agree to the possibility of a do-over. Neither of us has been to Vegas and we don’t know what to expect. What if we hate Vegas? What if we like Vegas but the chapel experience is bad? What if the whole trip is made most memorable by all the small things that went wrong? What if we regret not having a more traditional wedding? What if I really wish I’d worn a different dress? What if ad nauseum. So we declared the do-over clause. If we hate it, we’ll do differently next year. This has made the whole process much less fraught, and allows me in particular to approach everything with a much breezier attitude. So far so good.
A do over. I love it. Smart thinking. And the swords look fun too!
The do-over clause is the best wedding advice I’ve ever heard. I give myself a do-over option for every major move/new job/major life event I take on…I think these things make us braver.
One evening when I was a mite freaked about The OhMyGod Wedding, my partner took me in his arms and murmured, “In my mind, we’re married already. We’re married right now. ”
It’s very calming to think of that; it makes whole planning process seem like a secret do-over, a simple but public presentation of our established commitment.
A do-over clause would have been my nightmare! I wouldn’t want to go through the planning, stress and expense again. No matter what goes ‘wrong’, you’ll be married after it’s over! Mission accomplished.