My ring is cubic zirconia. I have a simple reason for this: I lose things. I lose things a lot. I lose important things like house keys and passports, I lose large things like shoes and magazines, I leave behind vital things like wallets and favorite sweaters that I knit myself and, once, my purse on the shelf of a Goodwill (it was retrieved without incident). When it came to making decisions on what kind of ring I wanted I took two significant events in my life in account. First was a silver ring I had as a teenager, I loved it and wore it all the time for years until it was beautifully worn down. And then I lost it, probably in the dressing room of a TJ Maxx while I was trying on dresses for a school dance. I mourned for my lost object in only the way teenagers can, by moping and being inconsolable.
The second event was earlier in my life. As a young child I lived on a street with some neighbors who had similar aged children, the father flew the private jet for the city’s football team and his wife was very proud of him and the huge diamond ring his awesome job allowed her to have. (That came out less kind than I wanted, they were great people.) She took us along to the grocery store one day and on the way back, hands on the steering wheel, she noticed that the diamond had fallen out of her ring. A panicked search commenced, we combed the parking lot and the aisles of the grocery store, the inside of the minivan, the bags of groceries, pant cuffs, tire treads, all surfaces we had passed on our five block trip, all for nothing. Insurance replaced the diamond but it was never “her” diamond again. She was really upset, and even years later I get it.
So while I’d like to say I don’t have a diamond because of moral reasons the truth is I love them and the sparkly-pretty, and I respect the tradition (as skewed and riddled with ethical troubles as it might be). I don’t have a diamond because I don’t want to lose it, and I will. And despite the logical argument about it being insured and replaced I know it would still be something that would upset me greatly. I decided it would be a lot more fun to have a sparkly-pretty ring that was inexpensive. It took me a while to convince Scott that I really meant it, and in the end he declared he would buy me a new inexpensive ring every year, which I think is pretty sweet.
I went to a custom jewelry place here in Seattle that came highly recommended, Greenlake Jewelry Works, to ask about getting a ring made in a certain style using CZs. I was terrified that they would react badly to my request for fake diamonds and I was ready to stammer out all my explanations, but they were absolutely fine with it. The ring in question was still more than I was comfortable with, though the craftsmanship was well worth it. We did a round of ring-gazing and talking to jewelers and found the whole process to be a lot less pressure than we expected, which was nice. I came away well informed about the qualities of various metals. Plated silver won’t last as long as a solid gold or platinum piece, as well as making it unable to be resized. I can have a ring replated (though it might cost more than the ring is worth) but it’s easier to have a solid metal ring polished to a like-new shine. So, I do feel like the cost of a good ring is worth it if you want to keep it for a lifetime.
The ring above, my first wedding ring if you will, was chosen based on the semi-bevel settings which don’t have prongs that will catch on thread or yarn. I’ve found it to be fantastic and so comfortable that I sometimes need to check (a bit panicked) to make sure it’s still on my hand.
update: Two things I forgot to include. First was that my trip to Greenlake Jewelry Works only strengthened my love of inexpensive rings when the jeweler helping me suggested that I buy a ring a quarter size smaller than I would normally wear since apparently my knuckles are not wider than my fingers so rings are likely to slide off. Hear that? Besides my forgetfulness I also have to worry about jewelry slipping off of my hands. Not being a fan of pinchy jewelry I’ll stick to the no-tears priced rings.
Second was two entries, one and two, that Dooce wrote about her and her husband not owning real wedding rings because the money was better spent on things like kitchen remodels.
You don’t have to defend your CZ ring! Mine’s probably a fake sapphire. And our wedding rings are aluminum — since the boy is a chef, we wanted something more industrial so it wouldn’t get easily scratched up. When we got them, the jeweler goes, “Of course you’ll upgrade them to platinum in a few years, yes?” Ummmm… no.
I’ve never had a problem losing rings, but I lose every other kind of jewelry, so I don’t want anything expensive. I’d feel terrible if I lost it, and worse if it was a gift. I totally understand.
Our wedding rings are from Greenlake Jewelry too. I pretty much love them (the store) (well, and our rings). (Here’s a picture: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/88/235635645_bf6df2ba49.jpg)
Thanks Mamichan, I’ve heard from a lot of people who chose very practical rings, including people who wanted theirs to hold up to rock climbing. I hadn’t hear of aluminum though, tungsten seems to be the new thing in rings for guys. Is aluminum nice and light weight?
Laurel - So pretty!
I think your ring is beautiful! My first wedding ring was real diamond and sapphires, but when I announced that I was leaving my husband, he swiped it on his way out. My current engagement ring is a 2 carat CZ and I adore it. I think a ring is worth more in sentimental value that it is in dollars and cents. Even if I were offered a real diamond twice the size of my CZ, I wouldn’t trade this ring in for anything!
I agree with mamchan - you don’t have to defend your ring! In fact, the fact that you feel like you even need to kind of bums me out a little. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand it (and do it myself a bit sometimes before I forcefully stop myself from explaining that this ring was EXACTLY what I wanted - not a bigger one, not a fancier one, THIS ONE). I’ve decided not to “explain” this to people anymore (or at least try not to - it’s harder than I would have thought!). Don’t let anyone (or any wedding industry!) make you feel weird/bad/awkward about something you love.
And your ring is really pretty, by the way!!
Oh, this is great, I was hoping you would write about your ring(s). Your story is great and I love Greenlake Jewelry.
I totally understand about this. I worked in a lab when I got engaged, so I was very concerned about the ring not getting caught on rubber gloves, etc. Plus I am constantly forgetting I have arms/hands and smacking them into things, so I wanted something to stand up to my “destructo” capabilities. I ended up getting a diamond, but it is set sturdily.
My wedding band is plain gold for the same reason. A lot of my friends have the diamond/fancy band, but I wanted the simple band so that a) I could wear it without the engagement ring, and not worry about losing a stone (like when we’re camping) and b) sentimental reasons. My dad gave me my great-grandmother’s wedding ring (a plain gold band), and I had it sized down and engraved to make it mine. We had my husband’s wedding band (also plain gold) engraved with the same thing so they “match”. (Our rings have our initials and our anniversary on the inside, so we’ll never forget the date!)
Thanks everybody, the title was more of a joke than anything. Really I just like to get to tell the story about being present when somebody discovered the huge diamond had fallen out of her ring. Also, I still miss the silver ring I lost in high school, deep sigh.
If it’s what you love, there’s no need defending. Beside, most people wouldn’t know they’re not diamonds if you didn’t tell them. I do have to say, though, that I do have diamonds in my ring. Every 6 months, I take it into the jeweler for inspection. If anything appears loose, they fix it right away.
Will your next ring be a replacement or will you stack them?
Michelle - It would be a separate ring, I dislike how too many rings inhibit the movement of my fingers as I knit and sew a lot.
You are a smart woman. I wish I had realized this about myself. I would have saved myself some heartache. . .
Yay - another semi-bezel wearer! I am so hard on jewelry and my hands so we searched far and wide to get my wedding ring. I love yours - CZ or whatever.